It’s a fine line between being able to take unwarranted and incorrect criticisms with quiet dignity and standing up for what you believe in, even if it is based on a rather minor incident.
I was at a rehearsal today. A group I volunteer my time with a group that maintains a high calibre of performance. The conductor, known for his brutish comments and relentless criticisms, took aim at me today. It wasn’t the actual incident that bothered me so much but the degree to which it was carried out by the conductor. If I was to maintain my own professionalism, I simply had to back down and take it all.
I am now in a very interesting position. Feeling absolutely insulted (both professionally and personally) for something I didn’t even do, I am contemplating leaving this group. This decision is not new. It has crept up before on previous occasions of mistreatment and general negativity.
Here is the dilemma: If I leave, am I simply over-reacting to a crusty old man? If I stay, how long do I continue to feel played like a fool?
It is tough to figure out where my own personal boundaries are. I tend to surround myself with positive people and work very hard to keep the negative ninnies out. I refuse to volunteer my time only to treated with such ignorance and disrespect.
I will wait on the decision for now, as I must return to play a concert tomorrow with that same group (note that I’m doing this out of my own professionalism) but will need to make this decision soon.