Tag Archives: food

Food Rule #276 – Sandwiches made by other people

sammiesI have many food rules. Many people know this already. I don’t deny it and I don’t deny that sometimes I break my own food rules. I admit that over the years, I have bent and often broken some of my own food rules only to be opened up to new tasty delights however, there is a reason these rules are in place and I recently discovered why.

One of my food rules is that I generally don’t eat sandwiches made by people other than myself or my Mom. Perhaps it is because over the years, I’ve gotten used to my Mom’s sandwiches and when I make them, I know exactly what goes into them. I have very vivid memories of having sandwiches made on bread I wasn’t used to with bright orangey-yellow margerine heaped onto it and condiments all mixed together.

Someone recently asked me if this food rule included subs from Subway. No, it does not. Funnily enough, if it is a sub or some sort of gourmet sandwich, it passes.

This does include however, sandwiches and wraps put together by catering companies and other people. These sandwiches often show up in a complimentary lunch for work and at things like showers and funerals. Those ones are definitely out. If I am faced with a situation in which I feel I must consume one (usually when I’m absolutely famished and realize it will be a long time until I eat again), I usually go for the egg salad. I know it sounds gross but the thought of those luncheon meats with their preservatives and not knowing whether you are eating ham or olive loaf just creeps me out. Don’t get me started on tuna or salmon. Cold fish out of a can?! No thanks.

I was playing a concert recently and in between the dress rehearsal and the concert, we were served some sandwiches. I hadn’t eaten enough during the day and was starving when the sandwiches arrived. They were as I expected, beautifully laid out and arranged to impress but I wasn’t impressed. I struggled with the decision. Do I cave into my hunger and choke down one of these things or do I ignore the hunger knowing it would be at least another 3 hours until I could eat again? I looked at the platter and decided that an egg salad wrap might be the least offensive to me.

I ate it quickly, not even trying to enjoy any flavour it may have had. It satisfied the hunger pangs enough and I got through the concert.

Not even 24 hours later, I was doubled over in pain and have had the stomach flu for two days now. Coincidence? I don’t know but for now, this food rule still stands.




Filed under Uncategorized

What I’ve Got Against Coconut

I don’t like coconut. Not coconut juice, not coconut milk, just coconut. I even have a little rhymey phrase for it:

Coconut makes me choke-o-nut.

Last night, I was tricked into eating coconut! Tricked! It was somehow hidden into a yummy Dufflet sugar-free brownie. Here is what happened:

I took a bite of that yummy brownie (which I wouldn’t have, had I known there was coconut in it) and started to chew, letting the deliciousness of the sweet, sweet malitol soak into my taste buds. As the brownie dissolved, I noticed a foreign texture. Something hard but not crunchie, something very fine but very much in the way. I couldn’t quite figure out what it was but was spoiling the whole tasting experience. Was it some sort of nut? Like a pecan? No. Pecans dissolve. These pieces were just lingering there, tangling themselves up in my teeth. It had to be coconut. No matter how hard my tongue worked to get those little buggers out of the crevices they had dug themselves into, they still managed to linger. Even once I had gathered a tiny pile of coconut, I couldn’t even chew it down. If I tried doing that, they all just took off in my teeth again! Ugh, this was exhausting and by this point, the brownie was completely gone so I wasn’t even getting any flavour or taste from this. I then went for the water, accepting the fact that the only thing to do was to wash it all down in one go. HA! It took almost and entire glass of water and continuous picking. I even resorted to (and don’t judge me here, I was desperate!!) trying to pick it out of my teeth with my finger. Yes…I know. Well, desperate times call for desperate measures my friends.

I don’t like coconut because it spoils all of the fun. It insists on working it’s way into the tasting experience and never leaves! Worst of all, there is nothing to be gained from having it there. No taste, no enjoyable texture… Shaved coconut is not my friend. It tries to choke me, it exhausts me and it makes me look like some hick fool while I sit there and suck out and pick at my teeth. This folks, is what I’ve got against coconut.


1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized